A Testament To My Age

There are two Windows folders in My Documents called My Albums (for pictures) and My Music. I consistently click on the My Albums folder when I want to play some music. I guess I'll never learn... like a grandma who can't set the time on her VCR.

Buggin'

My three year old daughter is afraid of bugs, especially the flying variety. When I say afraid, I mean terrified for her life. At the sight of a fly, bee, gnat, or whatever, she screams, starts crying, trembles, hides her face and/or gets behind me. The scream startles everyone around us, and they think she is mortally injured. So whenever this happens in public, it's really nice to endure all the stares from people.

She also has the uncanny ability to find the smallest bugs around the house. She'll point out the tiniest ant crawling around on carpet where it normally would be camouflaged. One day she told me there was a spider in the potty. I'm thinking it's on her little training toilet... no, there is a spider crawling around in my toilet bowl! I'm glad she found it. I am amazed at her bug spotting ability, but it does not help her phobia one bit.

I don't know why she developed this phobia. I may jump once in awhile if a bug lands on me outside or if I see a big bug in the house, but I've never reacted like that. Maybe it was television. It gets blamed for everything else, so we'll just say that's it.

We have tried various approaches in order to deal with her phobia. We've reassured her that bugs won't hurt her, they are afraid of her, some bugs are good, and so on... but she is three. You can't reason with a three year old. After having this happen again and again I finally lost my patience and yelled at her and put her in timeout on the couch. That didn't work either. You can't scare the fear out of someone. The psychologist in me thought about systematic desensitization, but again, she is three. I think she is going to just have to outgrow it. In the meantime, I have to remain calm whenever I encounter a creepy crawly. I don't like millipedes, and there have been two of them in the house recently. It's really hard not to yelp when you see one of those. I have to suck it up and set a good example!

It's going to be a fun summer indoors... I bought Tess a pool, but she can't enjoy it. She barely even had a foot in it today when she saw something and ran screaming back into the house.

Happy Summer Solstice!

The Scarlet Pumpernickel

Ah... it's fun to laugh at the verbal screw-ups, Freudian slips, misunderstood song lyrics, and jabberwocky that people come up with. As a kid I used to think Aimee Mann was singing "Ooo, trash, even downtown, was so scary" in the song "Voices Carry". To this day, even though I know the correct lyrics, I still sing my own silly version.

Here are some other silly things I've heard or read over the years...

One day (many years ago) I was walking through campus at Ball State with a friend, and it started to sprinkle. She said "It's dribbling." That made me laugh, and I still remember it!

When Pope John Paul II died and they were electing a new pope, I had the news on and the news lady said "The new poop, uh, pope...". I can't remember which channel I was watching, but that was hilarious.

I was looking for a table in a restaurant with someone when he said something like "That table hasn't been busted yet". Busted? Oh... you mean bussed.

Sometimes the brain just decides to mix up what a person is saying... one day my husband referred to something in the living room as a "rotten curd". It took me a second to register that he was talking about the curtain rod. That was so funny that we have been referring to curtain rods as rotten curds ever since.

My mom is the queen of mispronouncing things even after she's been saying it correctly. She once said "He's got that Alzenheimers". I guess she had forgotten how to pronounce it. On a recent trip she was unloading stuff from the car and asked her husband if he could get her "Bed, Bath, and Body Bag". I said "Mom, I didn't know we had a dead body in the car." It was a Bath and Body Works bag, but she had somehow thrown Bed, Bath, and Beyond in there.

And I saved the best for last. A while back someone at work sent a message out to the entire Carmel office. The message informed everyone that they would need to change their passwords due to a possible security risk. The last line of the message said:

"We apologize for the incontinence and appreciate your understanding."

:)

Character Licensing Has Gone Too Far

I know companies want to make a buck by selling their trademark character license, but it's sometimes hard to find kids' products that are not stamped with a cartoon character. I swear, Dora, Pooh, Disney Princesses, Elmo, Thomas the Tank Engine, and whoever else is on EVERYTHING! Sunglasses, shoes, clothes, toy furniture, bikes, and even potties. I don't mind the toys so much, but I do not buy any clothes or shoes with characters on them. I don't know why it bothers me so much. I guess I just don't want my daughter being a walking advertisement for Dora the Explorer. And I think a plain little flowered dress is much cuter without a giant cartoon on the front.