Magical Cat's Corner

Assalted and Buttered

My poor friend. She decided to catch a flick one afternoon, and arrived with plenty of time to find a decent seat in the theatre. After the movie had already started, a kind gentleman approached her…
”Can you move down?” he asked, with sincere politeness (note the “I’m sorry to bother you” and “please” sentiments).
“Ok, I’ll move because you couldn’t get here on time.” She replied.

She gathered her belongings and proceeded to move over one seat.

The kind gentleman (sporting a mullet, I might add) then proceeded to dump his large tub of butter-soaked popcorn on her and smash the cardboard tub onto her head. Shocked and perhaps a bit shaken, she ran out to the lobby to report this monstrous act to the nearest pimple-faced attendant.

She found a manager and described the incident. The kind gentleman, his wife (girlfriend?), and son (illegitimate?) followed her out of the theatre. The lovely lady then threw a punch at my friend and hit her in the eye.

The respectable family then proceeded to quickly leave the theatre. The manager, after just witnessing a buttery customer get nailed in the face, refused to call the police, but instead offered her a refund of her 50 cent admission price. Yes, 50 cents will make it all better, sir.

My friend, to this day, cannot watch “Kate and Leopold” without thinking about being “assalted and buttered”.